Breaking up – Letting Go Without Heartbreak

Lets start with a realistic statement.. hearts don’t break.

Expectations break.

Expectations come from your mind .. or better put ..  your ego.

Your ego is not a bad thing. It’s your life PATTERN.

If you don’t know how to break your life patten then you are in a bit of a pickle because it means you run your life based on EGO alone.

It’s a bit more kind to yourself to run your life on both EGO and INNERWEALTH… SOUL.

Soul doesn’t have ego. No expectations.

Expectations (Patterns) block love and inspiration.

If you are not in love or inspired it’s because your PATTERNS are blocking you.

Then you get two choices:

  1. Change your patterns
  2. Change your partner or job

The problem with the first one is that you identify with your Patterns.. your ego. Your expectations are kind of who you are… If you don’t have a spiritual awareness, it’s impossible to change EGO PATTERNS because they are the earth beneath your feet.

The problem with the second one is that there are infinite choices for partners and jobs and they all feel like they’ll be better than the one you currently have. Of course, that’s motivating, stimulating and ultimately supremely frustrating.

Ego is competitive. It wants to beat. It drives for superiority. It doesn’t always work. There are seven areas of life. If we find superiority in one area (say work) we’ll experience inferiority in another area (say social).

There is enough evidence, without ever listening to another TED talk that the MIND is elastic. It means our EGO – although it feels fixed, isn’t.

What is fixed is SOUL. But how many TED talks get listened to that teach you about SOUL? Doesn’t make money, doesn’t increase sex life, doesn’t sell. SOUL is what doesn’t change, doesn’t care, doesn’t even have a conscience. SOUL doesn’t give a crap. SOUL is oblivious to time and money. So, SOUL without EGO could be defined as HELL.

Here are the essential phases of Pattern Shifting … in this example related to letting go of a relationship that you thought would last for eternity but lasted a week.

1. Denial … why me, I want him/her back, he/she was perfect, i can’t live without him/her, he/she still loves me, I still love him/her (all just denial)
2. Anger … what the hell was I wasting my time doing? I caused this… He’s/she’s a bastard/bitch. They are all to blame. all men are bastards, all women are bitches. Chris walker caused this … mum and dad .. etc
3. Capitulation … it’s real, it’s gone, it’s over, no going back, it wasn’t healthy, I can’t fix it. He’s/she’s not the one. Nothing I can do to change it. Time to move on. (THIS IS SOUL)
4. Celebration … (EGO’s BACK) woo hoo … freedom, new man/woman, new me, new ideas, different criteria, more self responsible, better lifestyle, new house, the real me, change the clothes, be a tart, smile more. Stop seeing a “Daddy” or “Mummy” and look for a partner.
5. Found the perfect one …
6. Denial … why me …. etc