The side effects of bullying are dramatic. If you’re a small business owner, an entrepreneur, an artist, a performer or a disgruntled employee or simply a person in relationship with someone who is bullying you then you’ll know what I mean. Lost health, lost happiness, depression, sadness, lost ambition and a sense of lost purpose are just a few. Life gets harder but the rewards seem to be less.!
Bully’s need their daily fix of hate. That’s what makes them feel better. Sadly, if you are the brunt of it, then it can really knock you around especially if the bully keeps it up until they get their much needed reaction from you.
Instead of pulling away from a bully, which will only encourage it more you need a better strategy. If you are being bullied you’ll probably not be the type who loves to fight back with the same violence that the attacker is using. So that would not be wise.
I’m going to encourage you to dive more deeply into it and instead of taking information on board that comes in scattered patterns of complexity, I’m going to demonstrate that there’s an order in all chaos. So, you’ll be able to filter incoming information in such a way as to fit it into one of three categories. Truth, Lies or Emotion.!
In that way, instantaneously you’ll be able to categorise input data, and know what to do with it: Act, React or Contract!
99% of what comes to you from a bully is noise, meaning it’s emotion and half polished data that, if you act or react to it, will spin your head. So, just this step alone is going to free your mind, and help stop the hurt! Call this truth. If they say you are something, they are probably right and there’s just no need to fight back or run away. You can simply say “yup, I have that quality.” Even the best of us have the worst of us buried somewhere and we’re ashamed to own it. Thats what bullies play on. Shame and pride. So, drop those and fess it up. Find what’s good about bad stuff.
When someone says “you did this or that” it’s no longer a character assassination which we dealt with in truth. Now you face a terrible situation that some dark soul wants to suggest you did something .. an action, that you didn’t do. Silence is the best rebutal. An accuser who is lying is always insecure and dialogue is the weapon of an insecure soul. So, don’t run, don’t attack, simply stand in silence. You can be tempted to blurt out some rebuttal but that’s going to create a crack in your armor. Which is what they want. Stand tall, be patient, wait, they’ll relent and it’ll defuse.
Nobody is going to treat you better than you treat yourself, so, there’s no value walking into your home with your head full of worries and woes from work and then wondering what the hell happened to your day! The key is not blaming. The second you blame someone for causing your day to be other than perfect, you’re in the emotional waterslide and there’s only one direction it goes. Don’t blame the bully for feeling low. You felt low before they spoke and now you know it.
Blaming people at work is the epitomy of disaster. if nothing changes, nothing changes, so if you keep thinking along certain lines that you are a victim and they are to blame you will, at the end of the day, be their target even more.
You have choice parameters and you can flip any bullying into a revealing truth. Maybe they say you are useless, or hopeless and you can sit and say to yourself, “I didn’t realise that I was feeling so low.” At least then, they serve you and nature bought something on the outside to demonstrate to you what’s on the inside of you.
If you blame them, you’ll end up with the same conflagration of confusion that causes you to accidently generate lies, emotions and half truths. So, instead, go this way of non blame you’ll make a more positive impact on the environment around you.
There are many ways to learn how to Stop the Impact of A Bully. I’ve learned the consequences of reacting by running at 100MPH into brick walls, getting hurt, dusting off and retrospectively working out that the choices I made and the information I used to make those choices were flawed. It’s expensive, it hurts and a total waste of time (unless you write a book about it)
There are thousands of books out there teaching you how to be at peace, how to calm down, how to work better and live better, they stink.!
Physical symptoms of reaction to bullying include:
Addictions – dependance on alcohol, tobacco and substances.! Excess eating – overweight!
Hooked on adrenalin – needing a daily fix!
Increase or decrease in sexual libido!
Lowered immunity – catching more colds, allergies! Headaches and body pains!
Digestive upset, gas and burping!
Trembling hands, legs and feet.!
Sensitivity to temperature!
High blood pressure – hypertension!
Tiredness and exhaustion!
Fee!ling depressed, hard to breathe deep.!
Mental Symptoms include:!
Unable to concentrate!
Moody and grumpy!
Depression and hyper sensitivity!
Wanting to escape, throw in the towel, give up.! Confusion!
Frustration and uncertainty.!
Spiritual Symptoms Include:
Uncertainty about the future!
Don’t know what to do!
Too many options!
Craving holidays and isolation!
Boredom and repetitive strain mind injury! Disgruntled and uninspired!
Addictions to sweets, caffeine, adrenalin, stimulants.!
Who is at risk?!
Although reaction to bullying – too much thinking – is a potential issue for all people, there are certain groups who are more susceptible to it than others! So, if it’s not an issue for you, maybe this article helps you have more compassion for others who suffer more.