Never underestimate the power of the human factor in work and life. A life without love produces only trouble.
For 35 years I have helped people change, improve and reach for their personal goals. That experience, across a diverse range of human conditions: the hard cold ice of the New York Money Markets, the troubles and pain of displaced indigenous communities in Canada, the crying pain of youth suicide, the miracles of Tibetan, Nepalese and Bhutanese Shaman/Healers and Shastri. I’ve worked with families in crisis in Colombia, South America, Old wealth tearing homes apart in royalty and rock stars who’ve raped the family of everything because of drugs and sex addiction. And I’ve worked with thousands of beautiful heart driven souls who just want to make a buck, bring up a family and enjoy the journey. What it all adds up to is this:
- At the core of it, all human beings are the same. They wake, eat work and sleep and they want the same things out of life, even if they give those things different names. They want happiness.
- Not everyone functions the same. We all bring our unique story, hi-story, and that bends us, shapes us, moulds us and sometimes turns us in on ourselves and when the inner story and the outer want are in conflict, trouble starts.
- We are temporary. We promise to love forever, but don’t. We promise to be faithful, not lie, not cheat, not hurt, not collude with corruption. But we do. Mostly because we think it will make someone, especially us, happy.
- 99% of us do not die of old age, but instead, from some illness or disease we’ve bought on ourselves in the pursuit of a happiness that did not benefit at all from those pursuits. We worry, get emotional, hate, get angry, drive fast, run to the bus, drink too much or eat shit, all of which, in the pursuit of happiness, kills us all too soon.
- We don’t know what we’ve got till it’s gone. We complain, we criticise, we see fault, we think we see opportunities for improvement but really for the most part we’re just being ungrateful, horrible and destructive. This last point brings a flood of pain into my heart just to write it, because it is this final point that causes so much unnecessary human disruption and it’s so easy to fix.
When we take what is not ours, we celebrate because we win. There is a feeling of control and power that all human beings need. No matter how we do it, winning, at some level feels right. We can win by overcoming a difficulty, we can win by fighting a cancer, we can win a job, a partner, a baby, a new house, security, or a running race, election or some new business. Our appetite to win never goes away no matter what walk of life we’re in. We want to feel like a winner and this is the basis of the “Human Factor.”
Winning is in the Eyes
You just breathed. What a miracle. Trillions of tiny things had to happen to cause that breath. Air needed to be cleanish, your brain needed a memory of how to cause it. Your lungs needed to move, your muscles needed to cause that. Go through the list of what must happen and therefore what could go wrong, just to breathe. But it won’t be good enough for you to feel like a winner. We take life for granted. We don’t know what we’ve got til it’s gone. Just wake with asthma one day and see how beautiful an easy breath is and what a “win” it is in life.
But we won’t sleep well with micro wins like “my heart beats” or “my lungs function” or “my sphincter closes” until one day when it doesn’t.
The search for happiness is exactly this. It is, a search. Happiness is the carrot. The next step. The one around the corner, the green field over there, the new lover, the next pay rise, the new car, the holiday in France skiing, or somewhere new next year. Happiness is always built into the “next” adventure. And this is “the Human Factor.” We are, at heart, ungrateful bastards, and because of it, we hunt, pursue, chase and wish for better. And Nature demands it to be so.
Know what you want. Know how you are going to get it. Don’t guess or dream it in isolation. Have a back up plan in case you slip and find yourself needing to be thankful for something you forgot to thank. Stretch your “win” ticket to the max and then ask for help to go there. But don’t sacrifice what you’ve got to get it.
You can have it all.
You can be a thankful, joyful, loving and humble person who doesn’t want to lose it all. And you can win. Be thankful for what you’ve got. Be a complimentary person. Then know what you want. Change as little as possible in getting what you want. “The Human Factor” in life is a tiny shift not an avalanche. Protect what isn’t broken, and know what is.
It’ll never stop.
The search for happiness is a forever story. Find it, lose it, find it, lose it. But, and here’s the big but, the search for contentment, satisfaction can be over now. You can be content, thankful and satisfied with your life at any time while you still search for happiness and new places to win. Isolate your “win” profile away from human beings. Winning by loving is a sad and ridiculous notion.