If you don’t appreciate it the way that you’ve got it you won’t get it the way that you want it. Be abundantChristopher Walker
By the laws of nature, nothing is missing. There is no insufficiency. Nothing is missing it just changes in form. It’s universal. So there can be no wanting from a universal viewpoint. Nothing is missing in anyone’s life, it just changes in form.
Nothing is ever missing – it just changes in form.Christopher Walker
The attachment to form can ruin our lives. When a father dies while the child is young. The child may claim and then spend the whole of their life acting out the consequence; “my father died when I was young,” they may say. We can have great compassion for their experience. But is it the truth from a universal viewpoint. From a universal perspective, the father did not die – he was not missing. Like a house that burned to the ground, he was not in his body, the form is gone, the house is now in atoms and dust, but he is not gone. We grieve the old form. We are very attached to having things appear in our lives the way we want them. Actually, the whole story is a myth; in truth even those things we thought were missing are not missing.
You can examine this. One lady in a seminar said, “My father died when I was a child and I have had relationship problems my whole life” So I asked, “what was it that you missed about him?” It was very painful for her, but she had motivation to do the work, her life was really in a mess and the man she loved was leaving her and the children. She answered with 100 things, like “his confidence, his advice, his friendship, his security, his strength, his guidance, his eyes, his hands, his voice his love and more and more.”
If nature abhors a vacuum, then nothing can be missing. I asked her, “then, I know he was passed but in what form did these parts of your father still exist?” for example “his confidence – who, came into your life to replace that missing element? She remembered her brother stepped in to do that more. And his touch? – “my mother.” You will find everything step by step the whole story will become strangely transparent. “And who came into your life to fill the void of his advice?” and you will find it. Sometimes the individual themselves took over that missing element but very often it is a new friend or old associate who steps in. Nothing is missing; every single thing that was seen missing was there. It is all a story.
And then she ran out of things that were missing. She was very angry now because her whole personality was based on this story and in such a short time, after 10 years in therapy, the whole story was gone. And now I asked “so what is missing” and she said “nothing, I just wanted to tell my daddy that I loved him” tears were running down her cheeks and mine and everyone because it was love that was coming from her now, not pain. I said, “close your eyes, who do you feel standing behind you right now, who do you feel with their hand on your shoulder?” she burst into tears and there was no mind games anymore, there were no words anymore, just love and she spoke to him, in front of 100 people, and everyone was in tears because that was real. All her pain was that she forgot to say, “I love you.”
This lady was very brave. Not only that but she was a Native American woman and she was really going against her culture doing this work in a conference room. After the loving tears went away, she looked 10 years younger, she had a big open face and love was there. She was in the present for the first time in a lot of years.
The fathers’ love was not lost; it was and is always there in the heart of the child. Once you get past the insufficiency, the idea that something was missing, then there is nothing to block the love and there is nothing missing. Any person who goes through this process will feel the presence of the “missing person” once they feel that nothing is missing.