Malcolm Gladwell wrote a great book called “Blink” and I think it is so true that we sum up another person in a blink of an eye. But for those of us who recognise how ugly and stereotyping this sort of behaviour can be, there comes a delay in accepting that “blink” judgement. We search and explore, through conversation, more.
The three things I believe we are all asking in the search for “who are you?” are:
- What drives you?
- What’s your goodness?
- What’s your hurt level?
For me, these three questions define us. They are the three elements of a personal story that is also very predictive of the future.
What drives you? – It could be fear or it could be the opposite… Either way, there’s a need for self honesty here. What drives you?
What’s your goodness? – There are those in the world whose wounds and struggles have arrived at the three widow makers, Should’ve, could’ve and would’ve. These always lead to an early grave. The ability to find goodness in life is the cornerstone of whether we will achieve or fail.
What’s your hurt level? There’s a great difference between pain and suffering. Suffering is pain that you don’t know when it will end. Many people are afraid of and resent pain, they complain, again and again, never refrain from moanng about pain. Then, you know they will not go to the end of the road with you, it’ll be too hard.
When you share your story, be clear about your Drivers, Goodness’, and Hurts. It makes all the difference.