In my life I have no regrets. Ok, maybe one or two, but mostly no regrets. Oh, all right, more than a few but still, no regrets, mostly. Kind of. Nearly 100% no regrets. Oh! Yes, I do regret that and that. But mostly no regrets. All right! There’s about 50% of what I have done that I wish I’d been smarter. And that’s what I’ve listed here in part A of this list. 100 Things I wish my Dad had taught me.
Why these? Well I made a list of the most expensive learning experiences I’ve had in my life. Like my three spine surgeries from which, yes, I learnt so much, but shit, Dad could have taught me that when I was a kid.
Truth be known I probably would not have listened to him. I didn’t consider him wise. So this list is a hypothetical. I observed my Dad, grief stricken, alcohol infused, working to grumpiness daily, having a few laughs, I didn’t want to emulate him. However, in retrospect, my Dad was fucking awesome. He went from mentally screwed after the Second World War, to grief stricken father of three kids without his wife, single parenting us, including an 8 month old baby, all the way to 30 or so heart attacks and still kicking goals. It was a long, long road he took, building business’, financing a home, dealing with my crazy step mom, hitting the concrete on more than one occasion and never giving up on it all. But the one thing that struck home recently for me, which is quite amazing, is that in staying in love with his first wife, my mom, through 3 more marriages, my Dad had purpose. He healed his wounds because of his dedication to my birth mother.
Dad never let go of his love for her. But he wasn’t driving in the rear vision mirror, he went to night school throughout his life studying screen writing, accounting, sales courses. He always looked forward and in his heart of hearts his love for his first wife, my mom, was in his way, his purpose. I don’t know what promise he made to her at her funeral or in the darkness afterward but he held it to the finish.
In the end, Dad died from his wounds. Dementia, some of which was the result of hitting the concrete once too often with his head.
All that said, my life has been and continues to be the only life I wish to have had. What I’ve learnt along the way, as I truly deeply plumbed the depths of the human condition, mostly by trial and error, has become what I can authentically share.
Share wisdom is my job. What I share is what I know and have learnt to be true. Life, teachers, guru’s and friends have provided me the lessons, while the wisdom to solve those lessons has come from a commitment to hold my heart open in hell.
The formula to achieve success, love, happiness and health is the gift I have. It’s the result of trial and error.
And, some of this, yes, I wish I had known without the cost of experience.
This deck is the 100 things I’ve learnt that I wish I’d known at the beginning of the journey.
I hope they save you time. I will blog them, one a day for July, 2022.