100 Things I wish my Dad Taught me. Episode 31. “Your limitations are in your head.”

Today’s episode is bought to you by the 3rd universal law. Abundance. Nothing is missing just changes in form.

Are your limitations in your head?

The greatest power in life is being grateful for what you’ve got. You might not know this but if you don’t you have not studied your Innerwealth.

Spiritual neanderthals still exist in business. They think that what they think determines the outcomes of their day. Absolutely primal and unsophisticated. When spiritual neanderthals have an issue with themselves or others they go to therapy. They think that what they think will change things. It’s monkey mania.

Six weeks after I met my first wife, and at the prime age of 18, she threw a half full beer bottle across the room that smashed on the wall beside my head. A little more accuracy on her part and I’d have a scar to prove it. I remember looking up at her rage, jealous because I was sitting next to another woman in an open circle and I was enjoying myself. I looked up and said, “She’s fucked up, I don’t want to be with her.” Thirteen years later I said “she’s fucked up, I still don’t want to be with her.” Nothing changed. So why did I stay? Because my limitations for my life were in my head. I honestly thought, “this is the best I can do.”

It’s said that your children are sent to teach you love. So, that marriage lasted thirteen years long because I was a slow learner. My limitations were deeply implanted. I didn’t want to think otherwise. And to wake up every day thinking “She’s fucked up, I don’t want to be with her” is an awful argument with nature which basically agrees with the notion that your limitations are in your head. So, while nature and my spirit knew better, my head held onto a bad egg. To make that work, like a neanderthal I found distractions. Three children flipped the whole situation. I loved them, and therefore included my first wife in that package. The issues went away on the surface. For the next ten years I loved my children instead of my wife, and made a thing called “family” to disguise it.

Over this thirteen years I built or renovated ten homes, I built three business’, I lived overseas for six months, I rowed and won Australian championships and travelled throughout Asia on business. I partied, I succeeded, I loved my family, all because, my limitations were in my head. I found ways for my spirit to fly while being married to the wrong person. I was a spiritual neanderthal, thinking that what I think could change how I think. For thirteen years, less 6 week I argued with nature who clearly said, this relationship was finished after 6 weeks. And she too. She knew. Her ambitions proved that too.

The irony is this.

For thirteen years I didn’t like my ex wife. for thirteen years I wished there was a way to be away. I and she, had affairs, not just with people but with work, friendships, family, sports and anything we could fall in love with. I loved surfing and if it was a woman I would have slept with it. I loved travel in Asia, if it was a woman, I married it. I loved life. And to the degree that I was in the wrong relationship on one hand, I lived life on the other. Passionate about and disciplined to do, anything. Just so I didn’t have to confess the spiritual truth. I remained a spiritual neanderthal. Until we broke up. And when we broke up, divorced, I wanted nothing more than to be with her. My limitations, the idea of being worthy of love, was that of a pigmy. I stayed thirteen years with a person who loved me as much as I did. And that’s why I couldn’t leave sooner. I was a spiritual pigmy. I loved myself about the size of a paint tin, and got that love level back in spades. My limitations were in my head.

My spiritual journey has not been one I volunteered for. I’ve sought to be loved and love. It’s been my single most dominant passion and focus. But I didn’t articulate it until most of the journey to that end was complete. I thought I wanted wealth, I got it, but that wasn’t it. I thought I wanted success, I got it but that wasn’t it. I thought I wanted a relationship, I got them, one after the other, with so much sex and laughter but they weren’t it. Nobody can love me more than me but my goodness I promise that this truth was well hidden under my limitations which were all in my head.

When head dominates heart, heart screams for solace and respite, head seeks results and material proof to satisfy it. Heart screams no I don’t need to chase more, head hears, through it’s blinded limitations, run harder, work harder, chase more, love more people. The heart screams no, that’s not it but the head hears everything through earphones tuned to it’s pre-existing Chanel. Like iTunes, stuck on one playlist over and over and over and over, the limitations are the inability to think outside what we think. Einstein said “you can’t solve a problem at the level that created it.” Hence, our limitations are in the very mind that created them. We can’t think ourselves through the very limitations that caused the thinking. It’s impossible.

So, experience becomes nature’s only remaining teaching mechanism. You can learn, like I did, by ploughing head first into brick walls and, like I did, learn from experience. Such as my 12 year, 10 month, 2 week long learning period with my first wife. It wasn’t her fault. I was just learning from experience, and that’s so easy to avoid by blaming the world or partying, working, talking, thinking, sporting harder than the learning noise. The spiritual neanderthal. Even meditation is for spiritual neanderthal process.

Or you can learn from someone else’ experience. A guru. Unfortunately, Guru has a bad reputation. Many people claimed to be one, not many taught from experience. Many worked out what makes people suffer and created a solution, not always a wise one, and with a solution to suffering, all saints, gods, icons, guru’s emerge. Life coach is the modern day language for guru, but I wouldn’t waste my money on one if you paid me. 99% text book, 1% experience. Spiritual neanderthals they are mostly.

So, with all this, what is the solution?

I found my solution. I share it every day. You don’t like it. It’s not sexy. My solution, Innerwealth, is the solution. It’s worked for thousands of years and bypasses all the rhetoric, all the books on self help, all the religious neanderthal sidelines. My solution, is…..



You can’t give what you haven’t got. You can’t give what you haven’t got. You can’t give what you haven’t got. You can’t give what you haven’t got. You can’t give what you haven’t got. You can’t give what you haven’t got. You can’t give what you haven’t got. You can’t give what you haven’t got.

That’s the end of this episode 31. BEING REAL WITH YOU.

With Spirit


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