The Power of Embracing Chaos and Order



Good morning, good afternoon, wherever you are. We’re up here on Ben Buckler. It’s blowing a gale and today I want to talk about peace.

Observations from Nature

This morning, I was walking along in the wind, observing the storms, blue bottles washed up on the beach, and the incredible chaos that nature is experiencing. Amidst this chaos, I felt a profound sense of peace. Initially, I wanted to celebrate this feeling, but then I remembered that our world is filled with storms, tsunamis, volcanoes, and airplane crashes—all parts of nature’s plan. It’s important to recognise that peace is a temporary state. It’s a place we go to amidst the storm, but if we stay there too long, we become stagnant.

The Balance of Peace and Enthusiasm

While we may aspire to be at peace, we must also strive to be enthusiastic and excited. The essence of living a good life, running a successful business, being a good leader, and a good parent lies in coping with the extremes of chaos and order. When children misbehave or people act out, our reaction determines our power. If our nervous, psychological, and emotional systems can handle these extremes, we define that as normal. The wider our definition of normal, the less disrupted we become and the less power we give away.

Action vs. Reaction

In seminars and workshops, we often discuss the difference between action and reaction. Reacting means running away from chaos towards order or vice versa. The trick to being a good parent or leader is embracing the full spectrum of experiences. We don’t live in a monastery; we live in the urban jungle where dangers exist. We must be vigilant without recklessly throwing caution to the wind. Living long and enjoying life requires evolving and being mindful of our actions.

Authenticity and Power

Letting others know how we truly feel can be unwise. Shakespeare said it well—life is a stage, and we’re all actors. Presenting ourselves in a way that doesn’t give our power away is crucial. However, there’s a fine line between being inauthentic and embodying a character. Authenticity doesn’t mean sharing every feeling; it means recognising parts of ourselves in others and owning those traits.

Self-Awareness and Power

When we see someone we dislike, it’s often because we see a trait in them that we don’t like in ourselves. By owning that trait within us, we can interact with authenticity without pretending. This approach doesn’t mean we have to associate with everyone, but it helps us maintain our power and act instead of reacting.


Understanding the difference between action and reaction is essential. When reprimanding someone or setting boundaries, reacting gives away our power. This can lead to children or others manipulating us, which is detrimental. As parents, partners, friends, and society members, it’s vital to learn this distinction and own our power.

This is Chris, signing off. I’m heading inside because of the wind. I hope this podcast was clear. Remember to share it with someone who needs a reality check. Keep it real, keep it messy, and keep practicing. Bye for now.​⬤

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