Before you begin exploring tomorrow’s exploration of the elements of a happy home, here’s tonights file for vision quest. It’s a hilarious exercise:
THERE IS ONE SINGLE THING ALL HUMANITY AGREES WITH “A HAPPY HOME IS A REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT THING”
We bring our emotions home. Unknowingly we bring frustration in the door. We often expect too much. Sometimes we get in a mood for a day or so. Sometimes we are tired. Sometimes we are worried or hurt or anxious. Sometimes we are insulted and sensitive. Sometimes we wish for change. Sometimes we blame others for not respecting us. And each time we do, we put another nail in the coffin. Accountability to yourself is important and none more so than the willingness to bounce back. You know “nobody treats you better or worse than you treat yourself.”
PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE – THE PAIN OF REGRET OUTWEIGHS THE PAIN OF DISCIPLINE
- There’s two sides to everyone. Attractive and Unattractive. You learn it after a few years of marriage. The romantic knows both exist but focusses on the attractive.
- If you apply what you learn for business success to your partner and family you will end up single. You are not there to improve them, or judge them. That’s career.
- People become as you treat them. If you treat them as weak people who can’t cope without your intervention, they become weak and needy, unattractive.
- Every gram of advice and opinion you listen to from your partner and you follow reduces the quality of your home life by 1kg.
- Two people can’t steer one car. Best to allocate responsibility and then don’t be a back seat driver.
- If you come home and talk about work, every second you spend talking is the equivalent of one hour of sex lost.
- When your partner criticises themselves you do not have to agree or disagree. Listening is understanding, not fixing. (different at work)
- If you accept anger, criticism, abuse, negativity, disrespect, from your partner and accept excuses, you lengthen the string they’ve got to do it worse … and it’s hard to reel it in.
- Two people with the same values, one isn’t necessary. You will and can’t change the fact that you see the world different and have different priorities
- The purpose of a relationship is not happiness.
- When two people have different visions but share a common path, they are magnetic. The secret to a great relationship is a clear vision.
- Nobody is who they were yesterday. But love never changes.
THE COUPLE WHO GROW TOGETHER STAY TOGETHER.
- What you judge you breed in your children, attract in a partner or become .. and usually all three.
- Growth means you don’t get stressed today about what stressed you yesterday.
- Your children don’t listen – the observe
- When you hear yourself talking to your partner about home renovations or the next conference you are running, start counting down the longevity of your domestic happiness.
- When you buy the house, build the extension, concrete the driveway and have the 2 or 3 children, you have just sewn fertile soil for a divorce. Mission complete. Relationship finished.
- The more you love those you once shared a life with the less you need them in your life. Unfinished business with people manifests itself as unhappiness in a home. Do your laundry.
- In your own home, how you dress, look and feel influences your family.
- Your face reveals your true connection with your partner. If you are in a mood, give yourself 15 minutes to enjoy it. You are not a child. All day moods are baby play.
- If you work from home, enjoy your work.
- The secret to a great relationship … do what you love and love what you do and be paid enormous money for it at work.
- Lowering your self-worth by doing what your partner wants leads to sabotage. Fill your values by filling theirs.
THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE DOESN’T WORK
- Spinning the wheel of fortune and discussing everything that comes up with your partner devalues the relationship.
- Listening to the opinion of, and giving your opinion on matters that are not associated with the feelings of compliments devalues your relationships.
- Whatever you fill your relationship with that is not associated with love and affection, devalues your relationship.
- Your partner’s opinion on matters that are not their expertise devalues your relationship.
- Offering emotional currency on matters to do with your partner’s work stress devalues your relationship
- Listening to the emotional currency on matters to do with your partner’s opinion on your work stress devaluates your relationship.
- Talking about, thinking about, worrying about anything that is not to do with your love and intimacy in bed, devalues your relationship.
- Knowing the currency of your exchange with another person in a loving relationship builds a strong relationship.
“The Purpose of a Relationship is Not Happiness.“
Chris Emerson Waldo Walker