Day 24. Role model or Real Model .. Parenting

Kids

Your children can’t hear you. They are parent deaf. But they do model you.

A father slams down the phone angry with peopple at work. He curses and then sits down to dinner. child thinks: “what did i do wrong?”A mother screams at a sibling with hard eyes and the other child thinks “mum doesn’t love them, so how do i do the opposite to that sibling to be loved?” Children learn from the baggage of the parent. This is the greatest school. Children are born to teach parents love. What a parent judges in themselves or their parents, they breed into their child and sometimes revert to violence to eradicate the memory or mirror. There are better ways.

Getting angry

The discard form on self is attached. Your anger or frustration is absolutely a judgement on the child. It isn’t going to end well.

Fighting agains resistance

Irrespective of the cost, kids want attention. If you are so “uop in your head” unable to let go work, worried about the new extension, thinking about a job interview and walking around the house where you would be better to turn up 110% of your kids, you are going to get resistance. Blame you not them.

MOTIVATING CHANGE

Dangling carrots for rewards is such a stupid parental concept that, for some unknown reason, parents think, works. Once you’ve played that card 10 times the child knows the game. They know it better than most parents and start to play you rather than you play them. A child is a playful being, getting them to do what you want cannot be a heavy handed motivation. It must be a two person fun and fantastic game. And if you can’t play it, ask yourself what you are really telling your child. If there’s no time in your house to play clean up or catch up or cook up, discipline is just killing the spirit of the child 20 years before it has to shift. And this is a big mental and emotional vacuum for the child that they’ll pay for in their adult life. Be a child, don’t talk to one.


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Jane Doe


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